Splatoon 3 Sider Order Review – Roguelike, Story-Lite

The evolution of the Splatoon franchise has been a marvel to behold. When it was first announced on the Wii U, no one knew what to make of it. Then, it came out and was one of the most fun things you could get on the platform. Then, when the Switch came around, it got not one but TWO sequels, and each of them had DLC to help expand the world and story, albeit in different ways. With my Splatoon 3 Sider Order Review, I hope to highlight how Nintendo took a stab at something new but left out some stuff in the process.

Game Name: Splatoon 3 Expansion Pass
Platform(s): Nintendo Switch 
Developer(s): Nintendo
Publisher(s): Nintendo
Release Date: February 22, 2024

Just to be clear, technically, this is a review of the entire “Expansion Pass,” but since Wave 1 is just having Inkopolis back as a potential “home base,” I’m focusing on Wave 2, “Side Order,” for this review, okay?

So, as you all likely know by now, Sider Order takes you to an “order-struck” version of Inkopolis Square from Splatoon 2. You again play Agent 8 and must team up with Pearl, the mysterious Acht, and another friend to take on the Spire of Order and save the day again!

The twist is that, unlike the previous story modes in the three games where you go from one level to another, Side Order takes us on the path of roguelikes via the “floor by floor” choices that will influence EVERYTHING you experience in the main bulk of the DLC.

After a small tutorial “run-through,” the Spire of Order” has 30 floors to traverse. 27 of those levels can be chosen by you, and you’ll choose not only the type of challenge you’ll face but the reward you’ll get via special chips. These chips range from things like getting more damage to your weapons, getting faster ink reloads, powering up the Pearl Drone, getting access to items easier, etc.

That will sound familiar to Splatoon players, but this particular twist focuses on STACKING them so you can get stronger the higher you go in the Spire of Order. You’ll have to make key decisions on basically every level to try and “shape” how your version of Agent 8 will be in battle and, by extension, how they’re able to survive.

The challenges of the floors fall into five categories: destroying enemy portals, protecting zones, defeating a specific set of fast-moving enemies, moving orbs into “goals,” and getting a device from one side of the area to another via your ink. If you’ve played Splatoon, you’ll be used to three of these immediately. Stages and enemies are how things get shaken up, and even if you’re familiar with a stage’s layout, it’ll still be a challenge every time, depending on the level’s difficulty.

As Nintendo and my Splatoon 3 Sider Order Review will tell you, this is the main crux of the DLC. It’s to take on the Spire of Order, see how far you go, and then, if you die, retain your knowledge and get special “points” for upgrades to give it another go. It’s meant to be “infinitely replayable,” and you can see the highlights and lowlights of that as you play. That’s something I’ll address soon.

So, how long does it take to beat? That depends on your luck, skills, and the options given to you. My Nintendo Entertainment Podcast co-host Will beat the Spire of Order in only three tries. As for me? I did it in about six, with one run coming REALLY close to the end before getting backhanded back to the start. So, for Will, it took under two hours. For me? It was more around four. Your results may vary! Either way, it was not the longest thing to play just to beat the storyline, and the Octo Expansion was much longer.

As for the story, this is where I get into HEAVY SPOILER TERRITORY…it’s a bit light, much like the rest of this DLC.

When you awaken in Inkopolis Plaza, you find yourself beside Pearl, in drone form, and learn that Marina is within the Spire of Order. The tutorial is going through the initial stages of the tower and freeing her, then finding out that the world you’re in is actually…THE MATRIX! Okay, not really, but it’s the same thing. It’s a computer program that Marina made after the final Splatoon 2 Splatefest (that she lost), and a program named “Order” took it over to try and make the world “perfect,” greyscaling everyone and making them submit to its authority. Yeah, it’s that kind of story.

And that’s…really all there is story-wise. Yes, you can get special “diary pages” about Marina as she made the program, and between Pearl, Marina, and Acht, there are some interesting dialogue exchanges, but they’re not exactly meaningful. Plus, after a few runs, you’ll have heard all the dialogue they’ll have for each other!

That brings me to the part of my Splatoon 3 Sider Order Review that I’ve been waiting to discuss for a while: the topic of “enjoyment.”

Did I enjoy Side Order? Honestly, it’s hard to say. I’m not trying to be mean here, but by the time I was done playing it…I was fine with immediately returning to another game I stopped playing to play this DLC but to be honest; it didn’t keep me as captivated as I expected it would have. Sure, there were times when I completed levels and was “thrilled” about it, especially as I got closer to the final floor. However, the contrast here is that because of the roguelike elements, you REALLY have no control over what’s coming next, and that’s frustrating at times.

A great example is that I was getting TERRIBLE options for my playstyle from level to level in my third or fourth run. I liked having power boosts, ink reduction/absorption, getting enemies stuck in my ink and getting damaged for it, and things along those lines. I had multiple back-to-back-to-back floors where I ONLY got stuff for Pearl’s drone, which totally left me susceptible to tougher levels because my version of Agent 8 wasn’t that strong, thanks to the chips I had available.

Side Order offers you chances to buy chips via vending machines, but sometimes those pickings are just as slim, and it’s just as frustrating. As you can imagine, I lost on that run.

The issue of “difficulty” is also troublesome and hurts my enjoyment of the game. There were times I did “Hard” levels and yet beat them in under a minute and sometimes 30 seconds! Then, other times, I would be given a “Normal” level, which would be one of the hardest things the game threw at me! During my “almost got ‘im” run, as I mentioned earlier, I was on level 28. I did a “normal” level” that featured an entire level that was a “bounce house.” Despite all my chips at the time, I was overwhelmed quickly and was furious at that because I came so far only to be beaten by something I had no chance of “adapting to” on the fly.

There was even a point where the first boss fight on floor ten got swapped, which threw me for a loop. And while each “loss” makes you stronger via upgrades, the conversion rate for “Pearl Points” is sometimes so low that the “Retry” option is literally impossible unless you DON’T power up Agent 8 like you’re going to have to.

It also didn’t help that some challenges got repetitive, and some were definitely better than others. The “orb goal” challenge continually frustrated me because the orbs would take an ETERNITY to lock into place, and I was trying to survive long enough to let them do that.

The final nail in this coffin for me is that once you beat the game via the first run-through to Level 30, the only way to 100% the game is by beating the tower…11 more times!!! You’ll have to beat it with EACH weapon to get the hidden stuff and other palettes. If you’re into that kind of “completionist challenge?” Go for it. As for me? I’m happy to have beaten it once and say I did it.

As I wrap up my Splatoon 3 Sider Order Review, many of you might wonder if I feel it’s “worth the cost.” The combined DLC is only $25, so it’s not as expensive as other Splatoon 3 DLC packs. Whether you’ll “get your money’s worth” depends on your love of nostalgia and whether you enjoy roguelike adventures. If so? You’ll get a kick trying out the Spire of Order on repeat. If not? You might stick to enjoying the main game and the Splatfests.

The Splatoon 3 Sider Order release date was on February 22, 2024, and the game is already available for the Nintendo Switch.

Review Disclosure Statement: Splatoon 3 Sider Order was provided to us by Nintendo for review purposes. For more information on how we review video games and other media/technology, please review our Review Guideline/Scoring Policy.