Splatoon 3 Review – The Beauty Of The Splat

I’ll never forget the announcement of the original Splatoon. With the developers in an aquarium, watching squids go by. Little did I, or others, know the great series that was about to come our way. For two games and a massive Octo Expansion, Splatoon has brought gamers together to ink like never before and have a blast while doing it. The question was whether the 3rd title could grow the game in a fun way while also keeping the gameplay loop that many enjoy. The answer should be obvious, but we’ll break it down more in this Splatoon 3 Review.

I honestly think my thoughts on the game were set the moment that the Splatfest World Premiere happened. Because even though I only played for about 4 hours during the 12-hour open period, I didn’t mind it when I lost. In fact, every battle was a case of, “one more match, one more match, let’s do one more!” It was just so much fun. Then, when the main game came out, and I was playing both by myself in the various modes or with friends, that feeling of “one more match” came back, and it was awesome. This is a franchise that is meant to be competitive and, yet, doesn’t hold back on just the fun element of things. Splatoon 3 is fun from top to bottom; thus, it’ll be something I, and likely you, will be playing on and off for a long time.

Make no mistake, all the core elements are still here and are still a blast. You’ll be able to do the main mode of “Turf Wars” with random players and your friends (of which I did both many times), and it feels just like it should but with some key additions to the weapons and abilities. There are new weapons like the bow and arrow (called “Stringers”) or the “Wiper,” which is basically the Splatoon version of a Katana. Each has its pros and cons like all the other weapons, and that means that you’ll have to adapt and come up with fun strategies to make them shine. Add that to new special weapons like the Zipcaster, the Crab Tank, and more, and the slider, and you’ll have a LOT of things to consider as you go into each battle.

There’s something so simple and yet enjoyable about Turf Wars as you’ll want to get once again every piece of turf you, covered in ink, so that your side can win. You’ll love it when you do, you’ll hate it when you don’t, and you’ll cringe when you lose by less than 1%. I’ve lost by .1% multiple times, just so you know.

Of course, there are the other modes you can do in the newly christened “Anarchy Battles.” Where you can do things like Splat Zones, Tower Control, Rainmaker, and Clam Blitz. I only did this a few times because I’m more of a “casual” Splatoon player, but when I did dive in, they were intense fights, no doubt, and so for those wanting a challenge, this can be that for you. Plus, you’ll get more experience for doing these, which obviously gets you access to more weapons later.

My favorite mode of all, is still Salmon Run. Which is ironic because, it is arguably this is the hardest mode in the game. The unrelenting waves of Salmonids and the need to work together with your team to push through and get the golden eggs for Mr. Grizz is enticing every single time. Because even more than in the original game, you’ll have new obstacles to deal with. Including mudmouth monsters, tornadoes, and other challenges that’ll pop up at random. PLUS, there’s a new “endgame” boss you might have to fight via Cohozuna. If you defeat him, you’ll get big rewards, but thankfully, if you lose, you won’t lose the entire round. At the time of this review…I still haven’t beaten Cohozuna…

The story mode for the game was arguably the most surprising for me. This is arguably a “tutorial” at times, but it also doesn’t get enough credit for its game design and level layouts. They’re really top-notch, and this time around, there’s a lot more drama and intensity in the story. Not just in how we FINALLY learn more about what happened to the planet to cause the Squidlings and Octarians to be born, the final level of the game, and the final boss, is honestly one that can be defined as an extinction-level event. They even go full Majora’s Mask and showcase what happens to the world when you fail! They definitely took it more seriously this time around, and it shows.

Another surprise for me was the tableturf game. This is a card game where you’ll need to compete against CPU players or other players to splat the most turf…in card form. Various cards you’ll get over the course of playing the game will have different orientations and lengths and such, and you’ll need to think smart about how to both gain turf and block your opponent from getting more on their own.

You might think this is “too different a game” given what we have with Turf Wars and Salmon Run, but it’s honestly a welcome change of pace. I once again went, “one more game,” even after losing. Plus, you can customize all sorts of decks with the cards you have to make sure you can take on anyone. It’s really great.

Sticking with the new stuff, our Splatoon 3 Review wouldn’t be complete without having talked about the impressive level of customization in the game. In previous games, it was all about the “gear” and trying to pick and choose the best options for your style of gameplay. But now, it’s more than that. You can customize your Splat Tags to show off some more personality. You can change the victory dance that your character does when they win. AND…you get your own locker to decorate that other players can come and see.

This may sound very simple, but it’s definitely praiseworthy because it allows the players to inject their own “fresh” personality and make things feel more personal versus everyone having the same thing at times. Plus, with the Catalog and the updates that’ll come, there will be more ways to customize every game element.

Now, as for the online elements, I will freely admit that there were some issues at times. Including my literal first Turf War not even starting because another player disconnected right as we started! No kidding. There were also ‘communication errors’, as they called them, that really got annoying as I didn’t know if it was an error on my end or another person’s end. But, I will also say it only happened a handful of times.

The rest of the time, the gameplay was smooth. I had no lag on my end, and it didn’t take too long to find matches (which was a problem at times with past versions). Whether with friends or with online players, you’ll get a match quick, and then it’ll be “BATTLE TIME!”

Oh, and on the matter of Splatfests, the new Tri-Color Battles were fun the few times I got to play them. The “lead team” might have an immediate advantage, but you’d be surprised what two players can do against four if they’re the right combination. The three options we now have will open up a lot of fun and possibilities, and I look forward to the next one that happens next week!

Now, it’s time in this Splatoon 3 Review to talk about the bad parts of the game, which thankfully are very few. I already noted some of the online issues, but a few other things have hurt other players and me, including bugs. They’re not plentiful, but they are there. Including in the Story Mode, where I beat every level, including the final boss, and was supposed to be granted a “secret level,” but I didn’t get it because of a bug. I checked in every way I could think of to make sure I got every level, and I did, but the secret level wouldn’t show up. I’ve seen other people hurt by bugs in things like Salmon Run that are both funny and hopefully will get fixed.

Second, in the story mode, while the gameplay overall is great, there are some levels that are going to frustrate players deeply because of the “precision platforming and shooting” that you MUST do in order to survive. If you recall a certain Nintendo Treehouse presentation, that level was indeed very hard.

A smaller issue that definitely rubbed me the wrong way was that while the game does let you fast-travel to certain spots, it doesn’t actually tell you where to go to find the locker room or the tableturf battle areas. You’d think those would be jump points, but their not, and I had to look up how to get to both.

The good news is that even with these issues, I still had a blast with Splatoon. The game keeps getting better, more refined, and so on with each new iteration. There’s a lot to enjoy here, and that’s why the game is already blowing up in sales (especially in Japan!) So if you don’t have this game yet, you really should fix that.