Paramount Shocked Us Once. Here’s How ‘Sonic the Hedgehog 2’ Can Do it Again

A recent Saturday Night Live cold open featured Kate McKinnon trying to figure out what still works in America. It turns out the answer is nothing… save for Tom Brady… but McKinnon never digs into what brought us here. I have a theory on that. It all goes back to February 14, 2020. On that fateful day, the ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ movie was released, and it was so good that it sent us into a Bizarro World.

The odds were one-in-a-billion. We all saw the grotesque creature that was supposed to be Sonic. We saw the Coolio trailer. Most importantly, we’ve been Sonic fans for the past 20 years. Sonic can only get one in every five games right, so how on earth was he supposed to make a good movie?

I have no idea how it happened, but he did. The Sonic movie was good, good enough for a sequel, and we are all still paying for it.

Of course, this means the sequel will almost definitely be bad… and maybe we’d be better off for it. Still, I’m a masochist. I want Sonic the Hedgehog 2 to be even better than the original, even if that means the sun goes supernova on April 8, 2022. After all the crap SEGA has put my little dude through, he deserves to go out on top.

Here’s how Paramount can make Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) every bit the sequel that “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” (1992) was.

More Sonic and Tails, Less Sonic and Donut Lord

Officer Wachowski (James Marsden) was a good sidekick in Sonic the Hedgehog. He never got in the way of Sonic having fun, and his storyline was inoffensive. The writers knew kids weren’t lining up to see the Officer Wachowski show; they were lining up to see Sonic the Hedgehog run really fast and sling one-liners like Peter Parker.

Now that Sonic’s real sidekick has been brought into the fold, we don’t really need Donut Lord. A subplot where Officer Wachowski deals with marriage problems tries to befriend his sister-in-law or considers leaving the force would take valuable time away from the more interesting Sonic/Tails relationship.

Sonic and Tails are one of gaming’s most iconic duos, but we actually don’t know how their interactions will work in the movie. Their dynamic may be different than the typical older brother/younger brother relationship because Sonic isn’t exactly mature. Tails may end up being even more childish, but that would surprise me. The traveler from a war-torn land generally plays the mentor. That new dynamic is exciting, and their growing friendship should be the emotional center of the film.

That’s not to say Donut Lord shouldn’t be in the movie at all. Sonic having a human comrade works fine, and I’m sure Marsden won’t say no to another relatively simple, well-paid role. I want him to support Sonic by doing all the human things Sonic’s going to have to do to overcome whatever Eggman throws at him. He can smuggle him into as many buildings as he wants, but his story doesn’t need to go beyond being Sonic’s father-figure and mentor. Save the “Officer Wachowski struggles with the morality of policing in the 21st century” storyline for a spinoff.

A High-Speed Metal Sonic Race

“Sonic the Hedgehog 2” (1992) featured a prototype version of the Metal Sonic we know and love, and Paramount would be wise to bring the robotic doppelganger into the fold in the second movie as well. We’ve already seen Sonic take on Robotnik, and a two-on-one rematch feels unfair. A new rival would even Robotnik’s odds, and Metal Sonic is just the threat to do it.

There are three main candidates to play the secondary antagonist role: Metal Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow. I’ll explain my hesitancy about Knuckles in a bit, and Shadow is way too complex to be the second movie’s antagonist. He’s a ticket seller, and it doesn’t make sense to pack him into a movie that seems to be focused around Sonic and Tails.

Metal Sonic checks off all the right boxes. He’s intimidating, has a flair for the dramatic, and is the antithesis of Sonic. There’s also a cool parallel between the heroes and villains if the sides are Sonic and Tails vs Metal Sonic and Robotnik. Tails’ best moments come when his mind gets pitted against Robotnik’s. There’s always tension when the two face off because they’re so evenly matched, and the same can be said for Sonic and Metal Sonic. 

One of the most dramatic moments in the Genesis-era takes place on Stardust Speedway, where Metal Sonic and Sonic race to a captured Amy Rose. That scene would translate seamlessly to theaters. Imagine Dr. Robotnik maniacally chasing Sonic through the streets of San Francisco, destroying everything in his path with a giant laser beam, while the Blue Blur races Metal Sonic to a bomb that’s about to blow. It’s an homage that’s perfect for the big screen.

Let Sonic and Tails Do Cool Sonic and Tails Stuff

This one is simple, but I’ve been rewatching Marvel movies. It’s incredible how often directors and writers think they need to outsmart themselves by putting their characters in situations that don’t maximize their powers. Thor has his powers for 15 minutes in Thor! No wonder it was bad!

When I see Sonic the Hedgehog 2, I want to see Sonic snowboarding through an avalanche, grinding down stairwells, and talking smack to the bad guys. The same goes for Tails. If there’s not a sequence where Tails pilots the Tornado with Sonic standing on the wings, the writers missed an opportunity. Tails should be more than just the guy in the chair. His intellect should be used in the field, bashing badniks with his spindash and inventions.

That’s a… Chaos Emerald!

Let’s revisit point two for a moment. Imagine a race between Sonic and Metal Sonic, but the object they’re racing towards is the seventh Chaos Emerald. Now that’s a scene the movie needs.

The Chaos Emeralds are a versatile tool that would allow the writers to get creative with whatever threat Robotnik poses. The emeralds have unlimited power, and they can be used for purposes both simple (super-charging badniks) and complex (warping through space and time.)

That said, I don’t think the entire movie should revolve around Sonic and Tails collecting all the Chaos Emeralds. That premise feels like it has the potential to drag and become uninteresting. Giving Dr. Eggman five or six emeralds before the movie begins would allow for less linear storytelling while still prioritizing the emeralds’ power throughout.

Don’t Force Knuckles Into It

Everyone loves Knuckles. He’s a bonehead who is almost guaranteed to steal every scene he’s in when he does eventually make his SCU (Sonic Cinematic Universe) debut.

That being said, there’s no need to throw Knuckles into the movie for the sake of throwing Knuckles into the movie. Look no further than the DCEU for proof of the danger that comes with throwing a bunch of characters on-screen willy-nilly. Every character should be given time to develop a backstory, and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 has enough on its plate with the Sonic/Tails relationship. Knuckles may not appear to be the most complex character on the surface, but it would do him a disservice to stuff his struggle with duty and responsibility into the film without giving it room to breathe.

Unleash Super Sonic… in Space

You knew this was coming at the mention of Chaos Emeralds, but Sonic the Hedgehog 2 wouldn’t be complete without a Super Sonic Showdown.

Super Sonic’s debut in “Sonic 2” changed the scope of the game’s universe. It proved that Sonic could be epic as well as cool, and the movies should aim to capture that side of the franchise as well.

Sonic fans are starving to see more Super Sonic. He hasn’t made an appearance at the end of the games since 2010’s “Sonic Generations,” and the last truly epic Super Sonic battle was way back in 2008’s “Sonic Unleashed.” Sonic Team may not grasp the importance of the character, but their failure could be the movie’s strength. Fans are dying to see a traditional Super Sonic finale, and I strongly suspect Sonic 2 will give it to us.

In the Sonic fandom, there’s nothing more dangerous than optimism. Still, the more I picture potential scenes from the sequel, the more excited I get for what’s to come. Sonic was pretty much made for this era of movies. Visual effects can make any scene dynamic, and a variety of scenes from the games would feel right at home on the big screen. Hopefully, Dr. Eggman gets to blow up the moon before the film series ends!

Let’s just hope Paramount doesn’t try to out-think themselves. If they do… Well, at least we’ll have something else joining Tom Brady in the “still predictable” club.