‘Thor Love and Thunder’ Review – A Butchered God

I’ll never forget when I asked my father on Friday whether he wanted to go see the new Thor movie with me. We had seen all the MCU movies together save for ‘Black Widow’ (scheduling conflict) and I thought “why stop the trend?” About 30 minutes into the movie…my dad said to me, “we should’ve stayed home.”

I wasn’t going to deny I had similar feelings at that moment, and in the moments to come. So, to be clear, and blunt, this ‘Thor Love and Thunder’ Review…will not be kind. Because to me, and only, in my opinion, this is the worst movie that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has ever put out.

If you’re curious, my previous worst movie was ‘Eternals‘, but at the very least, I could say that movie at least tried to do certain things…but Thor Love and Thunder? At times I was wondering if it was trying at all to be anything other than an over-the-top comedy that occasionally had action and a near-compelling villain. I do my best to go into a movie without expectation because it can leave me disappointed if it “doesn’t live up to the hype”. I had no expectations going into this movie…but it left me thinking multiple times, “What did I just watch?”

The movie is so easy to talk about in terms of plot that it’s almost cruel. Thor is trying to “find himself” in the universe and after traveling with the Guardians of the Galaxy (more on them in a bit), he stumbles upon the rumbling of the “God Butcher” via an “old friend” and when Gorr does go and attack Asgard, Thor finds his ex-girlfriend in Jane Foster, who is now The Mighty Thor, and alongside Valkyrie (King of Asgard) they go out to stop Gorr at all costs.

“But that sounds like a standard Marvel Cinematic Universe film,” you might be saying and it is in some ways. But usually, that “synopsis” would be punctuated by great character moments, some arcs that come to fruition, and an ending that makes you excited for what came next. To me (and my dad), this movie had none of that.

Case in point is Thor, who ever since ‘Thor: Ragnarok‘ has been the “dude Thor” or the “Bro Thor”, the Thor that acts like a fool instead of as a god. Taika Waititi may have “reinvented” everyone’s view of Thor…but whether that’s a good thing or not depends on the fan, and I’m not a fan of where this has gone, not at all. There were several points in this movie where Thor fumbles for words or literally acts like a child despite being THOUSANDS of years old…and I couldn’t help but shield my eyes and go, “Oh, gods…”

Thor can’t give a “battle speech” without rambling like an idiot, he can’t keep his now apparently sentient Stormbreaker (when did that happen?) from being “jealous.” He can’t say two words to Jane without making an innuendo or something equally baffling, and so on and so forth. Half the movie is him trying to figure out why “Mjolnir chose her” and trying to get back with Jane…whom he clearly wasn’t “over” despite having a lot of things happen since their breakup. If that sounds familiar, that’s the same plot of Multiverse of Madness where Strange wasn’t over Christine, and it went over like the same ton of bricks then as it did now. I’m surprised no one said, “Are you happy, Thor?”

This brings me to…Valkyrie! Ha, ha, fakeout! Now THAT’S comedy. Despite my feelings of Ragnarok being a misstep (though far better than Love and Thunder IMHO), I was right there with everyone else in saying that Tessa Thompson’s Valkyrie was the MVP. She was SO GOOD, and I looked forward to seeing what she’d do as “King of Asgard”, it was even implied early on (though obviously, this changed) that Love and Thunder would be about Valkyrie finding love, not Thor. Oh, how I wished that happened.

Why? Because Valkyrie did basically nothing the entire movie! She had no arc, and if she did…it didn’t get a good ending. At one point, she’s literally being “Korg-splained” about her “love situation” and she goes, “yeah, something like that” and that’s the end of it! You have one of the best actresses out there right now in Tessa Thompson…and you do so little with her? It was heartbreaking, and I hope the rumors of a Valkyrie spinoff are true…because she deserves better.

Speaking of which…time to talk about Gorr The God Butcher, played by the incredible Christian Bale…when you actually saw him being something meaningful on-screen. I had seen a few tweets that mocked the screentime of Gorr, but I wasn’t sure how little he was in the film until I watched it…and it was very depressing. Because Gorr had the potential to be one of the best villains the MCU ever had…but they barely let him be on screen, and then they gave him an ending that was just…well, very MCU in the worst of ways. 

Just so you know, in the comics, it took the combined might of THREE versions of Thor (young self, Avenger, future King), and the powers of multiple other gods to kill Gorr. Here, because of the “curse of the Necrosword” (which is not from the comic books), all they had to do was destroy his sword…which no other gods but Thor could do…even though they made it look really easy in the final battle.

When Bale was actually allowed to do work? He was great! I joked with my dad at the start of the movie that the opening scene with Gorr and his “transformation” was “going to be the best part of the movie”…and it honestly was. Because we got to see GORR BE GORR!!! Other times he acted like The Joker (in a bad way), and then other times he was a menacing Green Goblin (God bless William Dafoe), and then for a very long scene…he said and did nothing.

Then at the end, he decides, “Oh, I’m going to resurrect my daughter and give her to the care of the gods that I just tried to kill!” Yeah, because that makes sense. Oh, and in the comics? Gorr died and was “at peace” by FINALLY being in a place without gods. They committed to the character there and it made him all the more menacing, here…they just tried to make him a typical “redeemable villain” when we didn’t need that. They had no problems killing Hela without much care, why not Gorr?

Ok, I’ve delayed long enough, let’s talk about Jane Foster. Because her arrival was the thing that almost everyone wanted, and seeing her as The Mighty Thor was meant to be a true treat. But if you’ve ever read the comics, especially the ones with Jane becoming The Mighty Thor (while Thor himself was “unworthy” due to Gorr no less), then you likely will walk out of this movie disappointed for various reasons. Not the least of which is that…Jane wasn’t worthy by her own merits.

Yes, she was worthy in the end, but the movie shows that Thor “cast a spell” when they were together so that “Mjolnir would protect her” and it was THAT which led to her becoming The Mighty Thor. Not that Jane was worthy herself, but that Thor “made her worthy because of his feelings for her.” That’s…rather demeaning to Jane, as Jane is a boss both in and out of comics. And what’s more, she definitely didn’t act all “lovey-dovey” when she became Thor in the comics because she was out to prove she was worthy even when much of the Avengers (and Thor) wasn’t sure about her. But here, in the movie…they made Jane seem like a fangirl-playing hero. She was trying to “have catchphrases”, and “jumping the gun” and couldn’t keep her eyes off of Thor most of the time.

I know I keep saying “in the comics”, but there’s a reason for that, because while they aren’t always meant to be taken “point for point”, they do lay a blueprint out on how to do things. In one panel, Thor makes a demand of Mighty Thor, and Jane replies, “Calm thyself down”, and it was awesome (Thor #4 for the record). Odin once tried to get Jane “out of his sight” and her response was, “I’d like to see you try”. She was tough and she was WORTHY on her own merits. While they did incorporate some of her story into Love and Thunder, it missed the biggest part of her story, Jane…being Jane…and that being enough. In the movie, they literally convinced Jane to ‘step down’ because he loved her and didn’t want to lose her. Apparently, there’s “nothing more important in life than the love of Thor”…

The other thing that I must note in my Thor Love and Thunder Review is that Taika Waititi at times leaned so hard into the comedy and “funny moments” of the movie that it completely broke the flow of things and made everything seem even more foolish than it did before. Few places was this more prevalent than “Omnipotent City”, where all the “great Gods came together” and thus would be the “perfect place for allies”. You see where this went, right?

Zeus was a tool, and a fool, and said “orgy” so many times in the course of a few times that I wanted to vomit. Then he was one-shot by Thor for no real reason at all just so they could get his Thunderbolt. Sure, why not? Also, it’s honestly rather questionable that all of these gods would go with Zeus’ plan because that would literally mean that…wait for it…Gorr was right! That all gods deserve to die because all of them are corrupt or fools or deceivers…unless they’re Asgardian gods, they’re cool…oh, and what about the Egyptian pantheon…? Does no one talk to the Moon Knight people?

Oh, but we’re just getting started with the foolishness. There were screaming goats, the aforementioned “jealous” Stormbreaker (seriously, when did they establish that the axe was sentient?), Korg being turned into a rock face…because of course Taika would think that ‘clever’…Thor not knowing how to act around children…then leading those children into battle against monsters despite none of them being fighters…twice. And who can forget Thor doing the Jean-Claude Van Damme split? …I want to forget…

Plus, there were some random things in there that were just thrown in to “try and make it make sense” when it really didn’t. Like Gorr’s resurrected daughter somehow having god-powers now (which I’m sure Gorr wouldn’t have wanted, nor did he want his daughter to FIGHT MONSTERS when he asked Thor to “keep her safe”). Thor suddenly not being able to “summon” Stormbreaker just because it was being ‘held down’ and more. Not the least of which was the Necrosword randomly telling Gorr about Eternity (who is an entity in the Marvel Comics for the record) and yet he spent a lot of time killing gods not named Thor even though he had the key to the Bifrost, because…?

And then…of course…there was the stage play, which had both Matt Damon AND Melissa McCarthy in it…and I’ll never speak of this again.

But arguably just as frustrating as all of that were the other characters that were thrown in and totally felt out of place. Lady Sif came back and acted like an idiot because she “didn’t die in battle” (neither did Jane technically but she went to Valhalla, did they forget that when writing the script?). Also, where was Lady Sif before? We don’t know!

The Guardians of the Galaxy came off worse though. There were multiple scenes with Chris Pratt that had the most wooden acting…that I’ve seen in a while. It just felt so forced and fake, it sucked, especially since I KNOW that he can do better, and he’s shown it in other movies! Darcie was the best cameo and even she got sucked into the dumb story by saying that the answer to all Jane’s problems…was Thor. Again, demeaning to Jane. Also, due to this happening after WandaVision, wouldn’t she know better than most that powers don’t solve all problems?

So…was there any good in Thor Love and Thunder? Some things, yeah. Gorr at times was good when he was on screen and allowed to act!!! The “Shadow World” was a clever idea that I wanted to see fleshed out more, and it was cool seeing Mighty Thor have different abilities via the shattered hammer than Thor did when he wielded it.

My problem and I do hope I explained it well in this Thor Love and Thunder Review, is that the pieces were basically just shoved together. They had no real purpose with one another at times and it honestly betrayed the characters and plot as a result. I was so embarrassed by some of the scenes in this movie that I had to cover my eyes so they wouldn’t get stuck in my head. It was just…wrong, at times. Thor was the first MCU character to get a 4th solo film…but after seeing it…I feel they should’ve stopped at three.